Where has the summer gone?! Only 3 more weeks until the kiddos are back in school. I'm not sure how I feel about that since my baby will be in school full time! Oh, who am I kidding?! I can't wait! I truly do love my children and love spending time with them but really, how many times can 1 Mommy hear, "What are we doing today?"? I think my girls are getting bored and crave the routine of school so it will be a good thing for all parties involved.

Today's post comes with a warning, a TMI warning. You are about to read Too Much Information regarding my girls and their bathroom habits. Those that are squeamish or have weak stomachs, look away now.

                  Don't Put Your Face So Close To The Toilet.

I hate taking the girls to the bathroom in public. Only because I feel the bathrooms are never clean enough and it seems my girls aren't leery of what they touch. Also because (here comes the TMI part) they pull their pants all the way down to the floor while facing the toilet, shuffle over to the toilet while their pants 'sweep' the floor on the way to the toilet, and then turn around and hop up onto the toilet. UGH! Then, they stand up to wipe. TMI totally but it has to be told! Who stands up to wipe?! Then once they are finished, they bend over to pull up their pants and it is at this moment that I find myself saying "Don't put your face so close to the toilet." And this isn't a one time thing either. It's every time. Every. Time.

And lets not even talk about if the toilets flush by themselves! Holy Moly! Try squeezing yourself into a stall so you can cover the sensor on the back of the toilet with your hand so it doesn't flush while your child sits on the toilet and while that said child is sitting on the toilet, your other child is tormenting the one using the toilet. So then you find yourself clenching your teeth so that when you reprimand your children, the people in the next stall won't hear you. So you're squeezed between the stall wall and the side of the toilet, half bent over with your hand on the back of the toilet while disciplining your children. *sigh....yeah, I'm ready for school to start.

Today's post is fairly simple and short and one that maybe a few of you have said. Or said something similar, nevertheless, not something I thought I would say. 

                                                          Stop Barking Like That!
 
My girls love making up games. Sometimes their imaginations surprise me. Most often they make me laugh. Playing school is a game they LOVE playing. Mostly Lucy because she gets to boss around her baby sister. 

The other game they love to play is 'puppy' or 'humane society'. One of the girls is a dog and the other goes to the humane society to adopt a dog or they already have the dog and they play 'house'. More often than not, the 'dog' barks. A lot. A. Lot. Like All. The. Time. So more often than not, I find myself saying, "Stop barking like that!"  

Anyone else think they would be saying that to their children? I think what surprises me the most is how when a phrase like this comes out of my mouth, I say it with such normality as if this is something you say everyday. Like, brush your teeth. Say excuse me. Sit like a lady. Stop barking like that. *sigh  

Welcome back and thanks for sticking with me! My next phrase I never thought I would say involves a blue tongue and stairs. I'll never understand the way the mind of a child works, but it can be quite entertaining!

                                  Don't Lick the Stairs!!!

Sophie and I had been running errands one morning while Lucy was in school. At one stop, she got a blue raspberry icee drink which turned her tongue blue. 
When we got home, she sat down on the steps to take her shoes off. As I was heading up the stairs, I happened to look down at Sophie and watched her lean down and lick the stairs! Did I mention our stairs are carpeted? Uh-huh. And then I proceeded to say "Sophie! Don't lick the stairs!" And her reply was, "but I wanted to see if my tongue was blue." And of course, there was a blue line on the stairs where she had just licked. She was quite proud of herself and pointed to the step and said, "Look! It is blue!" 

As I said it, I knew I needed to write it down. Definitely something I never thought I would say! 

Hello and welcome to "Get Your Shoes Off Your Face"! This is a new adventure for me as I have never done anything like this before! First, let me tell you a little about myself and then I will explain why I felt the need to start my blog.

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have a 7 year old and a 5 year old, both girls. It's because of them that I started this blog. I often find myself saying things that I never thought I would, once I became a Mom. And I'm not talking about your typical run of the mill "don't make me pull this car over", or "because I said so"...I'm talking about things that will make you stop and think, "Did I really just say that?!"

I will start by explaining the name of my blog: 

Get Your Shoes Off Your Face!

Last summer my girls and I were visiting our local zoo and decided to visit the goats in the petting barn. Since the goats roam free in the enclosed area, you need to 'watch where you step' so you don't walk in goat poo. Sometimes the girls are running around and not really watching and...well...poo happens! On the bottom of their shoes. See where I'm heading with this?! 

After the zoo, we decided to stop and get some ice cream. For some reason while sitting in the restaurant, Lucy, my 7 year old, decided to take her shoes off and put them on her hands and then decided she would put her shoes on her face! The SAME shoes she was wearing in the petting barn. GAH! So I found myself yelling "Get your shoes off your face!" Who would ever think one would need to utter that phrase!? Well I'll tell ya! A Mom would. A Mom would need to utter that phrase and countless others!!

So I hope you will join me on my new adventure as I share some very strange and funny things that I've had to say since becoming a Mom!